You know that rough of book 7 I was talking about? Yeah… I still haven’t looked at the file again. Why? I’m scared.
And that’s not the only thing lately. I’ve been trying to pick up some new skills or returning to things I used to do, but stopped because… well, I sucked. I know I’m fighting myself on the “if you’re not immediately good at this why bother?” part that I grew up with and knowing it takes time and practice. A particular line from Firefly comes to mind:
“She understands, she doesn’t comprehend.”
Firefly “Objects in Space” River Tam
Writing escaped a lot of that because I kept it secret and private. It was my little playground for a long time where I could be as messy and as bad as I wanted. And most importantly, no one could tell me how bad I was.
It’s not like I haven’t been writing at all. I’ve been toying with other projects that will never see the light of day. My scratch pad where I can play to my heart’s content. I just need to figure out how to apply that to other things.
Anyone else ever hesitate or pause on a project because of fear?
Oh I’m always afraid what I’m working is not going yo get finished on time, or that I’ll realize I have a ton more work to do than I was expecting.
I’m not afraid that it will suck because I KNOW it will suck. I’m just trying to avoid any other stress along the way.
It might be paralyzing fear that has kept me unproductive for the past decade!